Sunday 1 May 2011

Peeping Tom.....First - and only -True Love

Those naughty Tweeters and Bloggers @ManicMum and @SuperAmazingMum have decided on a joint themed "Meme" this week under the subject title of "Peeping Tom - Your First True Love"

Please join in by copying and pasting the above badge picture onto your blog and go over to either of their blogs to get a linky!

OK...so that's the technical bit over and now to the "peeping"

I was 19 when I first laid eyes on him. S. I was working as a receptionist at an audio visual company in London. He was one of the Producers. He was tall, blonde and utterly gorgeous. 34 years on I can still feel the blush on my cheeks when he first said hello to me. We socialised with our colleagues at the pub in the evenings and over time there was no question - we were VERY attracted to each other.

He had a very rich girl friend who's father was a property developer. When she went shopping she bought the whole Mall.....I rented a room in a flat in Kensington, they lived in a house she owned  in Chelsea.

Then she went away for 2 weeks with her parents on safari and he asked me out to dinner. We went to a wonderful Italian restaurant in the Fulham Road and then on to a night club in the Kings Road. (OMG! I've just remembered that THAT evening Prince Charles was in there dancing/smooching with the actress Susan George!!) Anyway back to us.....we went back to his house and after a lot of snogging fell asleep fully clothed on top of the bed. (GOOD girls don't do it on the first date!!!)  Next morning we went for a dreamy walk in Richmond Park where, under the shade of a horse chestnut tree, S kissed me, told me how MUCH he liked me and said he was going leave the girlfriend.  I lost my heart under that tree. Actually, I didn't so much lose it, as give it away. We didn't sleep on top of the bed linen fully clothed that night!!

We had the most wonderful two weeks together (in her house....eeeek!) and of course worked together during the day. She came back and S and I continued our desperately passionate, secret affair. And I waited, and I waited, and I waited.

He travelled a lot round the UK giving presentations to clients and after work (by now I had moved on to a TV company,)  I would leave work at 5.30 catch the 6.15 to...Manchester, Birmingham, Bradford, Oxford, Brighton, and other such exotic locations and sign into the same hotel as him but under the name of Diana Potter. Diane de Poitiers was the mistress of the French King Francois 1.  If the girl friend ever suspected I was with him, she could never have found me. I would return to London on the dawn train and be at my desk at 8.30. 

Three years later he married her. I remember the day their wedding invitation arrived in the post. I wandered aimlessly round London for hours. I gave them an electric carving knife as a wedding present in the hope he would chop her up into little pieces!  He woke up on the morning of his wedding with me. He posted a letter to me on the way to his wedding saying how sorry he was and how much he loved me.  But he still married her..  We agreed that once he was back from honeymoon that was it. No more. 

And for two weeks following his return it was no more. But I loved him. And so when he called did I say "no!"?? Did I heck. And on it went...... I settled into a relaxed mode about it all.  After all, surely it wasn't that he was cheating on me...he was cheating on his wife?!  I would rather have been with him than without him. 10 minutes was worth a whole day. If we had a night together it was worth a whole year. He was lovely to me. We had an amazingly loving relationship. It was just that he was married to someone else. My mother referred to him as "Supershit". He was really, but I loved him. I was his beck and call girl! And I didn't mind. I didn't mind that I cried every day, that I silently sobbed every time he left my house. I was part of his life and for me that was enough.

For 19 years.....................

He then divorced his wife. And went off with a third party. My heart was broken. It has never mended.

Just after Christmas this year, his former business partner and her husband popped into see me on their way through the Cotswolds. She just casually mentioned that  S was living in France now. It was within a sentence about something else. Anyone else wouldn't have even heard it. I did, and the moment she left to go home I rushed to the computer and two hours later via France Yellow Pages and Google Earth I had found him. In a tiny village at the foot of the Alps. I now have his address and phone number. And I have yet to do anything with them.

I have had countless relationships since we parted for the last time 20 years ago, but none came close to my life with S. It was truly True Love. Once you've tasted nectar you don't settle for honey. I am still in love with him. There! I've said it....Holy Moly!!! There is not a day goes by when I don't think about him and hope...........











14 comments:

  1. Wow. It sounds like he was undeserving of your love and loyalty. But I realise I now sound like your mum so I'm going to shut up. Thank you for sharing your story. I hope he realises what he's missing. x

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  2. woooaaaa, that has left me with goosebumps. who'd ever have known???

    wow, when u said were not sure about doing it, i had no idea how deep ur story would be. i do hope u work it out, u are worth more than sitting around waiting for someone to show up. and i have only known u a few months...

    u go get 'em girl! u can, u know, just try it!

    may the force be with u , and i am watching this space for part 2 ' my new love'...

    tamsyn xxx

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  3. Told ya!!! I gave up waiting for him to appear at the door years and years ago.....sort of!! X

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  4. What an epic story. I don't think he's worthy of your love, but please do tell me where to stick my opinions. I hope he proves me wrong.

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  5. Of course he wasnt worthy of my love!!! Your opinion is totally my opinion!! But it doesnt stop me giving it to him. He wont prove you wrong!! X
    Thanks for reading and commenting! X

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  6. Oh my gosh, what a story....I first read this on my phone as had laptop issues, even more powerful on laptop (finally working). I was blown away by this story, as @motherporridge says, it is epic.....

    The only thing that keeps coming to my mind is this saying...

    "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

    I don't mean that in a flippant way either.

    I think there is more to come.......

    Love you

    Love S.A.M xxxx

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  7. Epic indeed!! I wanted to have that on my tomb (It's better to have....etc)!!! I actually dont think there is more to come - he must be 60 now. It was was it was. Epic!! XX

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  8. Wow! what a brilliant post! so honest - thanks so much for sharing! Oh gosh! is all I can say.
    thanks for tagging me - I can't do my true love, for lots of reasons ;)

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  9. Haha! Thank you for reading and commenting on mine - I wish I had said no when I was tagged, it nearly killed me!! X

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  10. Oh Wow! Such a powerful love story...brought a lump to my throat. I just can not imagine how I would feel if Papa had married someone else. OMG How have you resisted contacting him...You must be sooooo tempted? Please let us know if you do...Not that I'm nosey or anything, lol. Wish you well with it...would love to see a Happy ending for you with him but I'm just an old romantic x

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  11. I promise I will def update the blog if anything else happens! But I dont think it will!! Thank you so much for reading and commenting - sorry to make you blub! I just get the sneaky feeling it is unfinished business..........!!!

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  12. Oh my gosh, what a story....I first read this on my phone as had laptop issues, even more powerful on laptop (finally working). I was blown away by this story, as @motherporridge says, it is epic.....

    The only thing that keeps coming to my mind is this saying...

    "It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all"

    I don't mean that in a flippant way either.

    I think there is more to come.......

    Love you

    Love S.A.M xxxx

    ReplyDelete
  13. woooaaaa, that has left me with goosebumps. who'd ever have known???

    wow, when u said were not sure about doing it, i had no idea how deep ur story would be. i do hope u work it out, u are worth more than sitting around waiting for someone to show up. and i have only known u a few months...

    u go get 'em girl! u can, u know, just try it!

    may the force be with u , and i am watching this space for part 2 ' my new love'...

    tamsyn xxx

    ReplyDelete
  14. What an epic story. I don't think he's worthy of your love, but please do tell me where to stick my opinions. I hope he proves me wrong.

    ReplyDelete